I’ve had this conversation enough times the past couple of weeks, that it’s obviously something that needs to be said in a big and out-loud way. So I’m putting it down here for anyone who is wondering if they should try therapy. (Or so you can share it with anyone who might be wondering the same.)
I think this is appropos for ALL medical care. Everyone should feel like they should be behind the wheel on their medical care and their person riding shotgun is the doctor they are seeing and that person has the map and the flashlight and all that. It's a shared venture; a partnership. If you aren't getting that or your doctor's isn't listening to you, you should find another doctor. Most doctor's WILL listen to you if you explain what you want and your reasonings. They still might disagree with you and have a counterargument. If it's valid, it might be in your best interest to try to listen and take that advice. If that doesn't work, try something else. But don't be a doormat. Create and set expectations for the level of care you want and expect; be and act reasonable during those discussions. It's your life/health on the line. It's not time for histrionics.
I recently had to fire my primary doctor because she put diagnoses in my chart that were patently untrue that she based on assumptions because nothing in the two times we'd visited could have given her those diagnoses. She'd also refused some basic bloodwork because I've having some pretty standard symptoms that lead me to believe I've got a couple of imbalances based on past history. I was also not tested during my annual for things I get tested with on every annual because I take a lot of meds. She just said NO.
I then cancelled all appointments related to her and called back in to the clinic and requested to be reassigned to another doctor. It took over six months: months of phone tag, it had to go to committtee to be approved, and then I had to wait because I wanted an in-person appointment.
So today, I'm carving out time to write notes so that I can hand it to the doctor and she can read it first thing when we meet. I won't have to remember it all on the spot because that doesn't work so good for me right now. I'm being as proactive as I can and taking as much control over the situation as I can beforehand so that when I'm in the situation and panicking about meeting a new doctor and getting everything covered, I'll have done my prep and be in the best possible position I can be in. Whether it works or not is nothing I can control - don't take that for anything zen because I'll still be flipping out! It'll just be a tad less.
All of the above, I would do for a new doctor of any kind. Thankfully, I have a brilliant therapist who gets me and also loves the same kind of music I do (which is super important when life is a little more normal because sometimes it's just nice to have a free day and talk about music) and although we're going from two days a week down to one (family emergency recently) which freaks me out and I don't know how I'm going to do it. I will figure it out. And, if I have to, I will ask for more if I don't think I will make it or I will figure out an alternative that will fill that extra day gap without breaking any of the norms.
Thank you for this! I hope you don’t mind if I steal this! Works so well with my patients, who are all offenders and ALL misjudged & misguided & more importantly, trauma survivors ❤️
I think this is appropos for ALL medical care. Everyone should feel like they should be behind the wheel on their medical care and their person riding shotgun is the doctor they are seeing and that person has the map and the flashlight and all that. It's a shared venture; a partnership. If you aren't getting that or your doctor's isn't listening to you, you should find another doctor. Most doctor's WILL listen to you if you explain what you want and your reasonings. They still might disagree with you and have a counterargument. If it's valid, it might be in your best interest to try to listen and take that advice. If that doesn't work, try something else. But don't be a doormat. Create and set expectations for the level of care you want and expect; be and act reasonable during those discussions. It's your life/health on the line. It's not time for histrionics.
I recently had to fire my primary doctor because she put diagnoses in my chart that were patently untrue that she based on assumptions because nothing in the two times we'd visited could have given her those diagnoses. She'd also refused some basic bloodwork because I've having some pretty standard symptoms that lead me to believe I've got a couple of imbalances based on past history. I was also not tested during my annual for things I get tested with on every annual because I take a lot of meds. She just said NO.
I then cancelled all appointments related to her and called back in to the clinic and requested to be reassigned to another doctor. It took over six months: months of phone tag, it had to go to committtee to be approved, and then I had to wait because I wanted an in-person appointment.
So today, I'm carving out time to write notes so that I can hand it to the doctor and she can read it first thing when we meet. I won't have to remember it all on the spot because that doesn't work so good for me right now. I'm being as proactive as I can and taking as much control over the situation as I can beforehand so that when I'm in the situation and panicking about meeting a new doctor and getting everything covered, I'll have done my prep and be in the best possible position I can be in. Whether it works or not is nothing I can control - don't take that for anything zen because I'll still be flipping out! It'll just be a tad less.
All of the above, I would do for a new doctor of any kind. Thankfully, I have a brilliant therapist who gets me and also loves the same kind of music I do (which is super important when life is a little more normal because sometimes it's just nice to have a free day and talk about music) and although we're going from two days a week down to one (family emergency recently) which freaks me out and I don't know how I'm going to do it. I will figure it out. And, if I have to, I will ask for more if I don't think I will make it or I will figure out an alternative that will fill that extra day gap without breaking any of the norms.
Well said!
Thank you for this! I hope you don’t mind if I steal this! Works so well with my patients, who are all offenders and ALL misjudged & misguided & more importantly, trauma survivors ❤️
Family always has stealing rights!!!