On What Matters

Also, it's National Coming Out Day

Today is national coming out day, and I am sharing a post I made several years ago and share on each one, and I’m sharing it below. But there is something else I have been thinking about that I want to include here that I don’t think is a disparate thought.

It’s about learning language at a later age. Bear with me, for a sec.

I didn’t start learning Choctaw until I was in my 20s. Which explains why it’s pretty trash, but that’s besides the point. Back then we had barely any internet to speak of. There definately wasn’t an online language school with video and audio files of pronunciation and the like. I’m pretty sure the only videos on the internet back then were “two girls, one cup” (don’t look this up) and the Ally McBeal dancing baby video (go ahead, won’t hurt you).

My brother and I were always scavenging for more information on building our language skills, which meant a lot of language tapes (sent on physical tapes! in the mail!) and scavenging for books and tutorials and any bits of artifact we could find on the web.

My brother, who works for Google, became passionate about The Endangered Language Project later on based on these experiences of reclaiming our culture. Now you can even get a minor in Choctaw language studies at the university in Durant, OK (tho having an elder drag you for filth for your city-girl pronunciation is still the best learning tool.)

But all that is an extended and probably uninteresting narrative that I am using to establish something that I noticed twenty plus years ago that still holds true about the internet and language acquisition.

What people search for when trying to communicate in a new language. It’s always the same two things.

“How are you?” and “I love you.”

In Choctaw, if you are wondering, it would be “Chim achukma?” and “Chi hullo li.”

And that’s it.

Not “the election was stolen” or “porn is addictive” or “vaccines are dangerous” or anything else that ***feels*** like what we are most intently focused on.

It’s not language of separation, but of connection. The most important things to us, Twitter wars aside, are in these words. And if today, especially on National Coming Out Day in Year Three of Covid, this may no longer feel like the core of humanity. But it really is.

And we will eventually remember that nothing is more important than saying “Hey, how are you? And also? Don’t forget how loved you are.”

And that being said? Here is my annual “I’m sorry the world isn’t safer for you. You deserve it to be. You are adored and treasured and I will continue to fight for you knowing that.”

Coming out in a world that is telling you that you’re identity makes you inherently wrong is really fucking difficult.

Just EXISTING in a world that tells you your identity is inherently wrong is really fucking difficult.

So today I want to tell you what a badass you really are. You have value and worth and amazing shit to do in the world.

And there are loud and powerful people out there that are screaming otherwise.

But fuck them. I can be louder. And I’m far more stubborn and persistent. And that outweighs power any day.

I’ll believe all of these things even if you don’t quite believe them yourself right now. Even if you aren’t safe to say it out loud right now. 

I’ll never, ever stop believing it or saying it. 

You matter. You belong here. I’m so very, very glad you’re here, fighting back with your continued existence.

Thank you for being here in this world. You make it a better place. You make it a better place for ME. And I’m grateful.

Chi hullo li,

Faith