I'm Really Bad At Newslettering. Thank You For Being My Friend Anyway.

I have no idea how long it has been since I updated my Substack. I mean, I could look but then I would feel bad about myself and I don’ have the patience for being mean to myself today.

I think 2021 is officially the 2020 catch up year. I’m trying to get out all books that fell behind AND get 2021 done at the same time.

The one that is up for presale on Kickstarter right now is the one I co-wrote with Bonnie Scott. It’s called “Woke Parenting” and the link is here. 

Ok, that’s the end of the self-promotion shit. Moving on.

How are Y’ALL?

Do you feel a bit like a swamp monster peeking out and blinking at the sudden wash of sunlight? 

I am. 

My pandemic operating system software is still running and I’m not sure when I will actually feel comfortable humaning in public again. Tho I am bringing Mr. Dr. (the hubs) to Oklahoma in July and my son and his partner are visiting in August so hopefully I will be slightly better at “doing shit” by then.

But it’s ok if that isn’t the case. For me and for you. Which leads into my greater topic for today: giving ourselves permission to be how we are.

I have had a lot of conversations with people (and myself) about planning for how I actually am versus how I think I should be. So I wanted to share that same advice with y’all today. Like, if you want to be the type of person who cooks themselves a lovely meal...and you don’t really like cooking? Or don’t have the time? Or don’t want to clean up after yourself or whatever? Plan how to make reasonably healthy food choices around that.

Mr. Dr. is in Austin for training this week and I will likely not bother with cooking while he’s gone. While I do like to cook, I’m not great at cooking for one and I hate doing dishes and I know how I roll. 

I am kind of a feral swamp monster when left to my own devices.

So I bought myself grazing choices. Sugar snap peas and bags of baby carrots. Fruit. Fruit bars. Jars of nut butters. Bags of popcorn. So I can eat reasonably well but not make a mess that bugs me. These are also all foods that I LIKE. Disordered eating is far more likely to raise it’s ugly mug if we try to force ourselves to eat things that are “good for “ that we hate. Like cauliflower smells like feet and I don’t want to eat it. But I freaking love sugar snap peas. They remind me of my dad’s gardens growing up where I would sit between the rows and eat them off the vines...so I really never get bored of them.

Research on change demonstrates that in order to make them stick they have to be frictionless. That is, we are far more likely to do something good for us then something not as good for us if the good for us thing is the easier choice. Habits stick because they are easy. We need to make change even easier.

If you are trying to cut down your fast food intake, having things on hand that you actually enjoy eating is going to work way better than having a baggie of cauliflower and sadness. If you know cooking is overwhelming and you can afford a meal kit or meal delivery service that has yummy options? You are going to be far more likely to have that healthier meal. If you know you hate dishes, but you don’t want to be that person who uses disposables that hit landfills, you can totally by the compostable plates and silverware (Mr. Dr. and I used those for our wedding!)....problem solved. 

I am more likely to do yoga if I leave the mat unrolled on the floor in the living room, it’s there and ready to go. Rather than being irritated by my tendency to be a swamp monster, I just work to be as healthily swampy as possible.

And I’d love to hear what frictionless hacks y’all have come up with in the comments.. I’m always looking for more ideas!

Faith