Guilt Vs. Shame

Plus Etsy Store Book Sale and Stuff

The babiest child (the 180 pound 24-year-old mechanic) is over his Covid and I managed to escape infection but since it was 108 degrees and other stupid numbers all week? And the city found mosquitos at a local park that were carrying West Nile virus? Your girl is remaining an indoor cat for awhile.

My “on in the background while I work” show that ended up being good therefore actually distracting me is “Fire Country.” The first season is on Netflix and both seasons are on Paramount Plus (or streaming through the Paramount website if you are a cable subscriber). Jerry Bruckheimer is EP so the production values are great. But what I really like about it, is working with the complexity of trauma, addiction, accountability, forgiveness, and repair. And they got so much right…every episode has so many teachable moments about emotional health it makes me wish I was running groups again.

(Tho the writers don’t understand what the “complex” part actually stands for in C-PTSD, which is valid because most people don’t. But writer’s room? Holler at me, I do consulting work.)

Speaking of such things, my nephew put the Etsy store on sale for back-to-school. If you follow the store you already saw that, if not it’s live right now and will be through Thursday. My book that just dropped about shame included in that sale, of course.

Since brain science-y stuff is my sandbox, the shame book goes into great detail on the brain science of guilt, shame, and dissociation…and how those relate to trauma. Because I think this research has really been missing from the public conciousness and as an explainer of why I work with shame differently from many people. Shame creates an embodied sensation of self-disgust, which leads to increased disconnection. Here is a little excerpt for you if you haven’t seen the book yet:

Shame and guilt are similar in many ways, enough so that they are often conflated in our day-to-day communications. But the differences that do exist are really important. 

So all that stuff about how shame and disgust both activate a specific region of the ACC known for social information processing? Guilt doesn’t do that. Guilt is associated with activation of the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex (PFC) as well as the superior frontal gyrus, supramarginal gyrus, and anterior inferior frontal gyrus. 

So while guilt can be anxiety-provoking and may activate the amygdala (the part of the brain most associated with emotional processes), to some extent, guilt is primarily a PFC activity. 

And if you are wondering if guilt has the same disgust component that shame does? Nope, it doesn’t. Researchers have invoked disgust and seen what that does to feelings of both guilt and shame, and only shame correlates (even after controlling for negative emotions). 

And even though both shame and guilt are prosocial emotions, our brains attribute guilt to a specific circumstance or behavior: meaning it lets us know that we made a mistake and we need to take accountability and correct what we can. In other words, guilt pushes us toward repair. 

By contrast, shame, because it activates disgust, tells us to remove ourselves from the situation in question. That we are a contaminant. That the repair in question is our disappearance. 

Ok, kiddos. Stay hydrated and I’ll emerge from my burrow when it’s cool enough to make my first 2024 batch of pumpkin fry bread!

Faith