Gizmo Caca
(and a BOGO on the Boundaries deck)
San Japan is happening this weekend so I, being the Gen X version of Mrs. Garrett, have a house*full. I only gave birth to one of the humans involved, but apparently I also didn’t listen to Sam Wing and managed to get him wet and feed him after midnight at some point, so instead of one mogwai I have a bunch of gremlins in the house. The beds and futons and couches were filled with some of my favorite young humans sleeping off the amped sangria I made them in exhange for a promise to build me a greenhouse.
(Keys get dropped in the keybowl if you’re drankin’)
If you are attending the con this weekend as well, look for the Dora The Explorer with Diego and Swiper…that’s the son’s bestie, son, and nephew…so say hi to ‘em and tell them to clean up the mess from the trimming of the wigs in my den ;)
The kittens got fixed and vaccinated this week and have been adorable in their little neck donuts that look so much like a dog toy, I had to convince the dog to stop removing them from their necks to chew on them.
I’ve spent a bunch of time this year trying to get caught up from the four years of Covid behindness and think I’m finally close. And I got my book edit marching orders so I’ll have some new titles to announce soon! One will be the communication book, I’m working on now. And as is my newsletter sharing habit, here is a section of it..still in first draft and unedited because nothing is more humbling than me posting some of those paragraphs and cringing at my errors later!
Types of Communication
Generally, the model of communication explicates four different types. However, a piece written by Drexel University professor, Anne Converse Willkomm, who teaches a Communications for Professionals course, advocates for five. I happen to agree with her (which clearly means she is objectively correct) so I’m sharing this list as five.
Verbal communication is the part that we think of first. It is the use of our voice to make noises that theoretically convey a shared meaning to the people who hear what we say. It’s the words they say and it's how we say them (cadence, pitch, tone, etc.). This is such an important part of verbal communication, don’t discount the “how” part. A client recently told me that I was telling her the exact same thing her neurologist was telling her, but used a tone of voice that was more curious, and possibility based, and explorative rather than bossy and determined to sway her will. And how that change in tone led to her willingness to explore that option. She told me that my tone made it clear that it was her decision, so she was more open to it instead of cranky and dismissive because some dude was bossing her. And, as Dr. Wilkomm points out, if we can see the other person’s body while talking (in person, video, etc.) the verbal cannot be divorced from the non-verbal. In this same case, I was sitting with the person in question and my open body language, my shrug of my shoulders, and all these other indicators of “I dunno what's right for you babe, you know yourself better than I do, but it might make sense for these reasons?” reinforced that I wasn’t being manipulative.
Non-verbal communication are the mostly noise-less ways we use our body to share information with others. Our posture. How we use our fingers, hands, and arms to punctuate. Our facial expressions. Our eye contact. Other eye movements (eye rolling, side eye, etc). Our space between our body and the body of others when we are physically in the same space. Any touch we employ when physically in the same space. We may make noises still, as well, but they aren’t words. Like sighing. Or snapping our tongues on the roofs our our mouths. Humming. Stuff like that. So someone may be saying “yeah, I get it…it’s all good.” And maybe their tone of voice is congruent with that. As in, it doesn’t sound sarcastic or anything obvious. But their body language is tight and their arms are fold across their body protectively, they aren’t making the level of eye contact that is typical for them, etc.
Written communication is words put somewhere for someone else’s eyes to reach them. If you are reading this book on slices of dead tree or on the screen of a device, it’s written communication. If it’s an audio book then we’re back to verbal, right? Written communication is meant to have the same purpose as verbal communication. A clear sharing of information. This isn’t a natural skill everyone has. And honestly? As a recovery academic, I think most professional writing is almost an entirely different language. A dense one designed to demonstrate how smart we are, instead of designed to share information clearly. It’s not helpful to make people slog through your great idea. I prefer writing that sounds like a verbal conversation in my head. I’ve also found that neurospicy peeps fare much much better in consuming written communication when the writing feels like the flow of verbal communication.
Visual communication are the photos, videos, and other images that share messages as well. They may (and often do) have verbal, nonverbal, and written elements but they tend to have a more holistic message to share, and often a very emotional one. A photo of a sunset or a video of a kitten making biscuits share tons of information and can draw us in without any words written or said.
And listening is the vital fifth type of communication, because every other style relies on it. Receiving what others are sharing, understanding what they are working to convey (or trying to understand what they are working to convey, anyway) is the entire point of all it. We share for it to be received. Listening is the act of receiving. Even in volatile situations, we can’t progress or even deescalate without hearing what others are saying.
And the store sale I posted last week is over (we will run another in time for holiday shopping) but when organizing my books and workbooks and decks recently (this is the level of boredom I resorted to when on Covid exposure lockdown) I realized I had alot of Boundaries decks. So the fabulous nephew added a BOGO listing for that deck for the next week. So if you run groups…or want to snag some for gifts…or want one to play with and one to glue into your journal… then you got a week to do so!
This was my first deck, the one that I pitched my publisher to show them that people love and use decks. I was right so now decks are on the menu. This one is split between questions for reflection and hypothetical situations to get you thinking about responses and I really love it!
Now I gotta go measure for my greenhouse….
Faith